Proud to be an American

This song gives me the jitters every time. (And it doesn't hurt that Demi Lovato sings this version =P).

As a biology major,

I find the article linked below pretty neat. Recently, I've been starting to realize that worship is much more than praise music on a friday night. Rather, worship is established by how we live our lives, especially when no one is looking. Romans 12:1 is the classic definition, stating that worship is when we offer our everything for God's use.

And it looks different for all of us in practice, depending on our circumstances. For me, worship is learning to give God my free time, and also my school time. Worship is trying my best to get into pharmacy school so one day I may have possessions of my own to give away to others (Ephesians 4:28). Worship is studying well. But worship is also giving my dream of pharmacy school over to God and pursuing it with the willingness to let it go if He asks.

And according to the below article, worship can be as simple as living greener lives, for the sake of honoring God by respecting His creation, creation now subjected to decay but later will be given to God's renewal.

Sometimes I feel like if I don't end up as a pastor or a missionary one day, then I've somehow failed to give my very best for God's glory. But this is untrue. We don't have to be missionaries to proclaim the gospel or live full and radical lives for God. Missions exists because worship does not, and true worship comes out of a relationship with God. If He doesn't ask you to become a pastor or a missionary, it's still all good, because He desires worshippers above all else. Maybe He'll call you to offer yourself as a full-time ministry worker, but what if instead He asks you to penetrate the medical community for Him as a full-time doctor? Or the political sphere as a full-time politician? Whether you become a lawyer or pastor, secretary or missionary, it doesn't matter: God desires full-time worshippers above full-time ministry workers. How He asks you to live it out then becomes secondary.

I do not believe God has led me to seminary or overseas yet. Who knows if He ever will? All I can do is listen and hang on His every word. But in the meantime, I find it encouraging that as I live my life as a full-time student, I am given the opportunity to worship Him in all things, from studying to praying to sustaining the Earth.

(And this is all God-centered, of course; not done for the thing itself, but directed totally towards Him).

And finally here it is, the said below linked article. Hope you like it.

Haha

see more Epic Fails

I am totally spoiled.

Currently in a love affair with the new david crowder album. It's complex, fresh, and satisfying for the soul.

The weather is near perfect today. PTL for sunny days.

Do. Do do. Dododo. Do. Do do do do. Do. Do do. Dododo. Do. Do do oh happiness! There's grace! For all of us and the whole human race! Oh happiness!

I've run into so many umbrellas today with my own umbrella...us socal folk have yet to learn the art of living with rain.

Success!

Testing a new way of blogging from my phone.

Addendum to last post

Thanks to Ms Faith Chan for helping to clarify my last post. Her comment at the end proves valuable in redeeming the last paragraph of my entry, so I ask you to please take a look at what she had to say =).

Speaking of faith, if you haven't had a chance to read one of her latest entries, take a gander and enjoy. I actually meant to link to it a couple weeks ago, but again, I'm bad at blogging. So here it is now, hope you enjoy!

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Currently working on pharmacy school secondary applications. Man, so much worry involved concerning the whats and whens of the future. Much prayer still to be done.

A little gem from Mr. Oswald Chambers: "Prayer does not fit us for the greater work; prayer is the greater work."

John 15:8

This post is not about DC,

so I apologize. I've never been very good at blogging; I'm still trying to find my niche. Serious or funny? Impulsive or meticulously thought out? An outlet for venting or a source of inspiration? All options offer their pros and cons. I'll keep trying to find that niche in the meantime.

God worked in a tangible way to bring me here this week to UCLA. My family and I planned to take a cruise vacation from Friday until Monday (today), plans made long before servants' team meeting. Min gave me a call a week ago, with a challenge to skip the cruise in order to be here this week. But it wasn't that cut and dry, considering we already paid in full (some $300) for a cruise without a refund policy. My parents even wanted me to go to servants' meeting and be there during fall rush. So what to do?

I saw no way to both honor my parents and my pastor simultaneously. I could complain and guilt my parents into letting me go, but fortunately I correctly deemed such an idea as immature. On the other hand I could completely skip fall rush activities, an enticing option after participating in two previous grueling fall rushes. But I really wanted to be at UCLA, on the ground, with my fellowship, growing and laughing and laboring together, for God and for each other.

I drowned in worry for a few days, unsure of what steps to take. Even my typically active imagination failed to concoct a scenario in which all parties, my parents, my pastor, and myself, felt satisfied. Twas a sad time.

But I did one thing correctly: ceased striving and gave it up to God. In the context of submission to my elders (parents and pastor) in 1 Peter 5, I gave up my worries, "casting my anxieties upon God," trusting He cared for me. Honestly, this may be one of first times I've ever truly attempted to cast my cares upon God consistently over the period of a few days, in heavy contrast to my typical shotgun-style prayer life.

And He answered. On Sunday after service at my home church in San Diego, my dad stopped me and told me he wanted me to go to LA, thus forfeiting family time and the money. Pastor Steven preached about seeing the world through the lenses of the gospel, a message specifically honed to inspire my dad to kingdom-driven action.

That one moment with my dad, standing in the courtyard with his hand on my shoulder and a smile wrapped on my face, will be a treasure one day in heaven we will share with each other and with Christ. This is what it means to store up treasures in heaven. And that is why I am here this weekend.

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I'm facing a similar situation right now, so if you could keep me in your prayers, we can rejoice together with God's answer, whatever it may be: my parents let me go with the condition that I work on my pharmacy school secondary applications, and that if I did not finish, I would come up for a couple days before school starts in order to finish the apps. Despite making sure to work on these applications, I am still a good ways away from finishing. However, going home to work on them does not seem like a good idea from a ministry standpoint (i would miss a lot) nor a practical standpoint (i would struggle to write quality essays in such a short time). So please pray that I would be able to do the same thing: cast my cares to God, not trying to manipulate Him into an answer (and thus misusing the promises of John 15:7 and the like), but being confident that even if I have to go home and forfeit ministry time, I will glorify God by honoring my parents. Pray that I would have wisdom, yearning to seek the approval of God above the approval of my parents and my pastor and my friends. The latter three approvals may not always be there and many times will clash, but the one approval that matters is between me and God.

He believes in me, enough to call me out and give me the world if I want it. How freaking cool is that, that He would entrust me with His work of healing and reconciliation and peace and love and joy and all goodness. Who, me? But He believes in me. And that is enough to make it through one more day.

It's Time

It's time to resurrect this thing.

...

But not now. Later this week =P. It'll be about Washington DC.

How do you spell epic?

F-R-E-S-H-M-E-N 2012. You guys rock my socks.

And of course, the 09' girls. Ya'lls are awesome too =).

Best cafe night i've been too. Phil 3:7-8 baby.

6AM and a ribozyme later...

All nighter baby!!! It's 6AM and i'm spending time with ribozymes.

God has me beaming this morning =).

Rendezvous Fun

Three random moments of happiness from this past week, all at Rendezvous (a dorm eatery at UCLA).

1) Friday special at Rendezvous: Pork Torta

(Pork between two buns, with tomatoes, beans, guacamole and lettuce. So good!!!)

2) Thursday night battle royale: Steph vs Sharon

3) Thursday night battle royale: Tiff vs Elaine

Training

A video a friend sent me recently. Enjoy!

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I sat staring into the eyes of one of my IBS guys earlier tonight, listening intently, thinking deeply, asking the Spirit for something wise to say, wishing my guy knew God, and one big thought that came to my mind was...I wish I knew more scripture. Haha. This is literally the 6th time God has chided me of this in the past two weeks. I am realizing time and time again that at the end of the day, it is God's Word that sticks. I could give the most eloquent gospel presentation, expound beautifully on the truth that God's glory and our joy go hand in hand, or speak a timely, deep truth into someone's life at just the right moment, but many times the one thing that will be remembered is something from God's word. I've seen this happen through talks I've had with others, and I've experienced this firsthand as well. God has used Erick Loh to speak into my life, many times eloquently and timely, with deep conviction, passion, and the love of a spiritual parent, yet the only thing I remember a week later is the verse Erick gave me to get through the hard time. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

So buckle down, boys and girls. Luke 9:23 says that we must pick up cross daily if we want to be a follower of Jesus. But don't forget the promise of verse 24. In fact, verse 23 taken without verse 24 only leads to legalism and shorting out and falling short. Never forget Jesus' promise, that those who pick up their crosses and lose their lives will instead find their lives. =). It's a promise I forgot, which is why I slowed down my scripture memory, evangelism, prayer, and appreciation of my family. But now, remembering this truth, I remember why I train. We bring God glory by finding delight in Him. Oh BABY what a truth.

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By the way, sorry for the overabundance of bold and italic words in this entry. My writing is not yet strong enough to convey what i'm trying to say without the use of such lame literary crutches. =P

=). God is good, yes? Holla.

Glory

All the sweat....

All the tears...

All the blood...

Erick Loh's blood spilled in the line of Ultimate Frisbee battle...

Aaron's glorious head flesh woundage:

(so what if he sustained it in a poorly organized dogpile....tis a flesh wound nonetheless).

Why?

ALL FOR GLORY!!!

VICTORY IS OURS!!!

Snow and Leo

Taken on the way up to snowboard over spring break. Twas an epic trip.

I've got the snowboarding bug so bad right now. Too bad it's the end of april. Sigh.

And yes, i know i look really young in this picture.

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In other news...check out what i found at leo's house recently. Enjoy.

A Serious Post

I fell apart at praise night tonight. Snot, tears, head buried in my hands...it was the whole shebang. All of the stress and worry and concerns accumulated from the past three weeks simply melted away in His presence. I can't describe it. I went to praise night desiring rest in God, seeking conversation with Him, yearning deeply to hear His voice; I'm so glad I went.

Even after the breakdown, I had a tough time focusing. Focusing during prayer has always been a chronic problem for me. If I'm able to pray for 15 minutes without falling asleep, I count it as a success. My mind loves to wander all over the place. Even after I broke down, I still had to expend a fair amount of energy in order to settle down and focus on actually listening to Him, which took me a good hour for some reason. But such is my depravity.

You know, prayer and my attitude towards it is such a funny thing. My flesh abhors prayer, my body doesn't desire it one bit. I'd rather literally do anything else. I'll come up with excuse after excuse just to avoid it. But the funny thing is when I do actually sit down and pray, when I'm spending time pouring it all out and also sitting in silence listening for Him, meditating on the Word, there is no other place I would rather be than right there. I think, "This is the best thing ever!" And yet, my flesh continues to avoid it. I can relate well to Paul in this when he says in Romans 7, "When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"

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I was the last one in the room tonight. The time with Him was some of the sweetest i've ever experienced. The uncertainties, hurts, loss..Jesus told me he knows what it feels like too. No grand epiphanies, but His words were more than enough.

Even now as I type this, I have a hard time remembering what happened just a scant few hours ago. How sinful am I? It's ridiculous. I'm like a pendulum, swinging wildly back and forth, only catching a glimpse of the real Jesus when I'm centered for that split second. But what I do remember...God told me that He loves me. All the stuff i've been preaching to my IBS guys, the stuff I spent the entire past summer telling to strangers overseas...I saw it all through fresh eyes tonight once again. It may have been only for a few moments, but it was crystal clear: God loves me.

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You know I love you. I chose you before time began. And my Spirit is my gift showing you so.

God...you...don't have to...you don't have to...love me anymore, if you don't want to, I mean. I don't know what I mean. It's just...I'm sure you have better things to do. ... This is foolish, I'm going to stop talking now. I fumbled in reply.

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It's easy to say God's called you to certain place, school, or fellowship when things are going well. But when things start to go down the tubes, how certain are you of that original call? Things suddenly are no longer as clear.

But this is where the trial begins. When I boil it down, the answer is so, so simple. Follow Jesus. That's it. This is what He's been teaching me these past three weeks, through John 9 and 10, through Joe Dickan's amazing facebook note, through the story of Zacchaeus we studied for IBS...it is clear He wants to lead. All I need to do is listen and follow. And when I'm doing that, the most glaring and disturbing of questions fade into the background, and I'm filled with unexplainable joy.

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I've decided against sharing the specifics, because this blog medium is not the right place to share such things. And honestly, if I were to share the specifics, this post would quickly fall off the cliff into a sea of self-pity (nate knows from my email haha). But yea. Sigh.

So the time has come to make a choice. There are two. 1) Cut and run...a rather enticing option. 2) Give up. Give up striving, give up every concern, give up every qualm, every hurt, pang of sadness, thoughts of loss, give up my questions and doubts. It is not a 'give them up' as in forget about them, but a 'give them up' so I may instead expend myself simply following Jesus. Truly listening. Entrenched in prayer, as daniel yap put it so well last friday to me. Giving up, surrendering to the Shepherd, giving up and finding rest, letting Him lead me to life to the fullest. Oh my soul, forget not all of His benefits! Don't forget who forgives all of your sins, who fulfills your desires with good things, who renews your heart time and time again, who shows unending patience!

I want so bad to take the latter option, but the first one entices. How easy it would be to cut and run. Please pray that He would be my strength to remain in the fight.

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Alright, that's enough of that. If you want to know more specifically, I guess just email or ask. But I have a feeling God has put me through this trial relatively alone for a distinct reason.

The concept of redemption blows my mind.

A little something that my really good friend sent me. Hope you enjoy.

Cardboard Stories from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.

Shrimp Burrito Bonanza

One of my goals as of late has been trying to learn how to cook. I can now (semi-confidently) say that I am able to cook two things:

1) Shepherd's Pie Casserole (thanks deb)

2) Shrimp Burritos

I've cooked shrimp burritos twice now. The first time was with my good friend Petrina over spring break, and the second time was earlier tonight with Tiff and Nancy (see one post down for a picture of those two).

The recipe is unique in a couple ways. One thing is that the rice is cooked in chicken broth, not in a cooker. Another thing is a mixture of mayo and plain yogurt, which --> a kind of light version of sour cream.

Some of the ingredients:

There's the rice in the foreground.

Finished! (not my picture, obviously)

The recipe.

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Cooking is pretty darn hard. I find myself extremely self-conscious and super uncomfortable in the kitchen. I am incredibly noob. Examples? There are plenty:

- I didn't know how to chop an onion until spring break

- Today, i just threw the rice into the pan without washing it, not knowing anything was wrong until nancy told me

- I didn't know how to use a can opener, because i've never used one before. I got away with it over spring break with Petrina by nonchalantly asking her to open the can of tomatoes, promising to myself that I would learn later in the secrecy of my own home. But alas, today I couldn't get around it, and I had to humble myself and ask Nancy how to teach me. Sad day.

And this is exactly why I am learning! Haha. And so far, I am really enjoying cooking a lot. It's so relaxing and fun. Hopefully I will be able to get better at it with time, especially throughout this summer.

Let's cook together sometime =).

Worst candy of all time

At the start of last quarter, my mom gave me a fair amount of various snacks, candies, and vittles to last a while. The stash included this bad boy:

From Blog Stuff

I was excited. So I brought a bag one day to my Biochemistry 153 Lab to share with my awesome lab partners, Nancy and Tiff (two of the most awesomeist sisters ever btw).

From Blog Stuff

We broke out the bag, ate a few, and then threw out the rest of the bag.

Please do yourself a favor and never, ever, eat these skittles.

A well-articulated article expressing my sentiments.

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Prayer meeting earlier tonight...tasty. Joe, Jessie, Matt, Josh, Cristina, Peter, and Eric Chen...I've been a believer in Jesus for longer than most of them, yet tonight i felt like the youngest christian of the bunch. All of these cats are enjoying God right now, listening to Him, finding pleasure in 'christian hedonism.' I was reminded that this is why i am here. Amidst the numerous failures and shortcomings of ICA, amidst bitterness, anger, and vestiges of legalism still to be rooted out, amidst bust leadership like me who constantly forget to shut up and listen to the voice of the Shepherd, God is doing a grand work. Not by words or human wisdom, but by His Holy Spirit. Tis a grand, grand thing.

This is my confession as well

From "Confessions of a Legalist"

"When I study to see what God's words mean, I try to pay special attention to what they say. Equally, I watch for what they don't say. I do this because I am a legalist, and I know it; because given free reign, I will entangle myself every time. God has been good enough to give me the Scriptures, which every day cut away at the bindings I tie around my own soul. I can sing with the psalmist that my soul "is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped" (Ps. 124:7).

Knowledge of God and His Word is freedom."

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I suck so hardcore. Hosanna, save me Jesus. Hosanna, thank you for saving me Jesus.

Back to the basics. Praying for big things. John 15. Forgiveness is such a cool thing, isn't it? Hallelujah.

Mmhmm

This resonates with me.

Mmm...

YWAM Las Vegas, summer of 07...

From Blog Stuff

...--->lasting friendships in Christ, one and half years later. so good. thanks for the prayers sam.

From Blog Stuff

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phil. 3:8-11. this thing called knowing Christ has been the most confusing, frustrating, craziest, ridiculous thing i've ever done. i don't get it. knowing this Jesus has confused me more than anything. it's led me to talking with complete strangers, feeding the homeless and mentally insane, and doing things during which i find myself thinking, "...what the heck are you doing Daniel?" in a good, crazy way of course. but as you can already guess i am going to say, it's been the most joyful, refreshing, and challenging thing i've ever done or will do, and of course, i wouldn't have it any other way. knowing Jesus...knowing the creator...all i can say is "oh mama."

MercyMe- Undone

Listening to this on my iTunes for the first time in a long while, and i'm reminded why this is one of my favorite albums.

From Blog Stuff">

About the parentals

They love me a lot. In ways i never realized, before this spring break. It's the little things...doing my laundry, buying me enough snacks to feed an army, never ceasing to letting me know they love me...i see the Father in their parenting. A product of John 14:21?

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." - Jesus

Been thinking lately that Jesus revealing himself to me isn't some image in which I see his face, but rather he's been removing the blinders, allowing me to see him in all things...recently in my parents' love for me.

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I really, really want to grow up to be like my dad, my earthly dad that is. A lot.

For the Love of the Game

I'm falling in love with the game all over again.

By the numbers, 3 guys, 3 spring training games, 2 days, 0 women (no offense =P). Doesn't get much better than this. It's my dad and I, plus Uncle Paul Nash. We saw two games today, Dodgers vs. Royals in the afternoon in Glendale, and Rangers vs. Brewers in the evening in Surprise. There's something about being away from home and responsibility that is pretty cool. We had an awesome time of fellowship over a late claim jumper's dinner as well, talking about some quality schtuff. It's been a privilege to soak up the wisdom of these two older guys in Christ. Great times with my dad too.

From Blog Stuff

From Blog Stuff

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Peanuts, the crack of the bat, lemonade, and good conversation...ptl for today.

Baseball

Baseball is my favorite sport. If I were physically able to play one sport professionally, baseball would be my choice hands down. It's because I grew up on the sport. I am told that my dad took me to my first baseball game before I turned two years old, and I spent most of the game running up and down the empty aisle above our seats. I am also told (by my mom) that I was wearing these "really cute overalls" and that my dad also had to change my diaper during the game.

Highlights-

- Some of my favorite memories growing up include playing ball with my dad in the backyard and playing ball during Little League

- "The Sandlot" has always been one of my favorite movies

- I had the privilege of attending the 4th World Series game of the Padres vs. Yankees with my dad in 1998; awesome awesome experience

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I feel there are many parallels between baseball and life. In baseball, each team plays a minimum of 162 games a season. Players must play hard day in and day out even during injuries, because there is no week-long break between games. One does not have to be tall or big to play. Seasons are long and grueling, during which consistent performance is of much higher value than sporadic heroics. If you get on base one out of every three times you go to the plate, you are considered one of baseball's all-time elite.

I feel the same is so true about getting to know God more. Common Christian-ese speech terms it "walking" with God, yet so many times I feel like I'm "stumbling" alongside Him. My victories are far and few, counted on one hand for seemingly every hundred failures. My time with Him is in seasons. I've weathered spiritual winters, "slumps" if you will, and I've also experienced hot streaks in which He was moving in so many ways it would have been impossible to deny Him. Yet I'm starting to realize that although I may be batting below the spiritual Mendoza line because many times I cannot seem to control myself, it's ok, because He loves me a heckavu lot, and His grace is huuuuge, much >>>> my mistakes. And maybe that's just how He wants it: consistent obedience over once-in-a-while home runs, getting better everyday, bit by bit, until slowly my batting average begins to raise. Then I will be someone He may depend on, someone more like Him. This is what every parent desires for their kid anyways, yah? Not legalistic perfection, but the heart to at least try, not mass potential, but proven, rugged character.

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There's something about the smell of baseball glove leather, the taste of cherry-flavored slush puppies, and crisp springtime air that makes me love baseball. It's that time of year again, which is why I'm writing this entry. I'll be heading out to Arizona to baseball spring training (lots of west coast teams gathering together to practice before the season starts to scrimmage). Hoping for quality time with my dad. And my Dad. It's gonna be an awesome weekend of baseball.

Awesomeness of the last two days: John 9 and 10. Learning to shut up and actually listen for His voice.

From Blog Stuff

Prime Rib

I went to Outback Steakhouse with my parents last night for dinner. We have a routine. We start with a Bloomin' Onion and salads. My mom gets either a prime rib or a ribeye, eats half of it, and brings the rest home. My dad and I split a 16oz Outback style prime rib.

So if you don't know a lot of prime rib, the cut has two main sections: the regular part and the tender part. The tender part is just how it sounds, super succulent and juicy, melt-in-your-mouth goodness. I made a picture to demonstrate =) :

From Blog Stuff

Anyways, usually Outback splits up the steak into two 8oz cuts. However, for some reason this time they left it as a 16oz cut. My dad then cuts it like so and gives me the right half:

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I'm like, "Dude seriously dad? Naw here take some of the tender part back."

He says, "No it's ok. I want you to have it."

I protest, "Come on. Take some of it back. Why would you give me that piece?"

And he replies, "Take it Daniel. It's because I love you. I love you. I love you a lot."

And I'm floored to say the least.

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Both of parents are believers. My mom came to Christ in middle school, and after praying for something insane like 20 years, her parents became believers as well. My dad found God in medical school, and he found my mom as well.

My parents raised me without offering much spiritual advice. We went to church, but they never told me how to get into the Word, or pray, or know God more. Despite being believers and also ABC's (american born chinese) themselves, they've rarely opened up to share anything "spiritual" with me. At times, I've grown bitter about it, because it feels like I've had to gain spiritual ground all on my own.

I remember one time during freshman year, I was complaining to Tiff Chen about this, and she totally (unknowingly) rebuked me for it. She told me how lucky i was to grow up in a Christian household. And she was totally right.

It's "prime rib" incidences like this that allow me to see Christ's love reflected in my parents' love for me. While they've never verbally led me towards God, I've seen God through the deep grace, mad patience, and unending kindness they show me. And this is the essence of discipleship: actions speaking louder than words. How sinful was it for me to ever think they weren't leading me towards God, when in reality it was their actions and prayers that have brought me along this far. I am a fool.

Chew on this prime rib: Proverbs 9:10. So succulent.

=)